Today I attended a barbie with some of the people I’ve mostly been in contact with online so far and I have to say, I was shocked how much my preconceived notions of them, from their online presence, seemed so different (and thus wrong!) once I’ve seen them in person.
In short, I felt like I was taking crazy pills!
In person, everybody was just so nice. It’s unbelievable.
It made me feel bad.
Of course prior to this, I’ve often wondered if my negative assumptions of people are right. Or maybe a relic of my own jaded past and my unhappy childhood. But then I would always be able to find a reason to support my assumptions. Then I’d feel vindicated.
Well today… I felt like reality has given me a tight slap. A sort of “What the fuck have you been thinking of people all this time, crazy woman?!”
And I felt like hanging my head in shame.
Dear god, I’ve been such an ass.
Damn you Facebook. You’re so misleading!! (I need to get a life really.)
Oh yes… then just as I thought : Now I can’t trust my first instincts any more after today… This doctor guy from Singapore who’s studying in Scotland for his PhD and his wife and little 1 year old daughter is with him… started like FB Messaging me all night.
First he asked me what did I do today.
Then he asked me if I had been out sunning myself in a bikini.
I was like : what? I mean I hardly know this guy apart from an online group for Singaporeans in the UK to plan meetups and gatherings and stuff so we don’t feel so homesick. But to get from an occasional Hi to asking me if I was sunning myself in my bikini?
Okay I can hear you saying “Nah, you’re over-imagining it.”
Well I’m not!! Because I said to him “I can’t do bikinis anymore after having 3 kids.” Which is my way of saying – my bodyshape is stuffed.
He then comes back with a “I’m sure you still can… *wink* wink*” reply.
I was like… okay. Hmmmm.
Then he asks me stuff about how I ended up in England, stuff like that. And to go from that to … “We should meet up some time. Come to Edinburgh. I’ll take you out.”
I’m like okay. We’ll see about that. (Actually my true answer is No.)
And then he says “When you’re here with me, I might just eat you up. Haha.” ….
I was speechless. I just made like a shocked face emoticon. Without saying anything more.
He was then saying “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you shocked?”
And then he tried to switch the subject and talk about something else. Kept asking me questions. Why I’m here. Etc.
I tried to answer as briefly and noncomittantly as possible. Because I want to do everything I can to side-step what I see as possible advances and yet not wanting to embarrass myself in case he wasn’t really trying to hook up with me at all.
The conversation dried up soon enough when I took a really long time to reply to him. And then when I did, I said “Sorry I was busy.”
And he then said “It’s okay. When you’re free, text me on my number blah blah blah blah…”
Eww… like. Did he just say “When I’m free, text him?” Cos that “When I’m free” part of his sentence really was conclusive evidence enough for me that he was trying to hook up with me all this time.
Like fuck! Where did all this sudden interest in me come from?
What a creep. I might say, fact that he was a doctor made me feel a little bit flattered. I’ve always had a thing for doctors. Hmm… but I’m married now and I take my marriage seriously okay? It’s too freakin’ late. You doctors should have frickin’ hooked me up when I was single and without child. Alright? Umm… actually they did. Some did. But I was picky and thought they weren’t as cool and masculine as my boyfriend (now husband) who is the salt of the earth/badboy… well in other words, he is great with his hands, does manual work (but he gets paid well for it), can roll with the guys, and is cool cos he’s done and seen everything – including Egypt and drugs and the best parties on the planet.
Another lesson learnt.
Do not add fucking random people you don’t know onto your Facebook friends list.
Even if all of you are on some online group and have exchanged some casual niceties with each other. Said hi, introduced yourself on the group, etc.
Because if you don’t really know a person, well… you just don’t really know that person. He/she can turn out to be totally NOT the sort of person you click with or even a total stalker or creep.
Come to think of it. Today I actually put another of my FB friends onto my Limited Profile list. I never actually meant to but she was super fucking annoying. This woman used to be my classmate in secondary school when I was 14 to 16 years old. And I never really used to be close to her or have anything in common really. Recently she’s been really annoying by sending out all these FB requests of me to sign petitions for animal welfare and then posting lots of pictures of unwanted and abused dogs on her Wall to “raise awareness”. I mean… hello. Fine. I’m against animal cruelty too. But why dogs in particular? Why not pigeons too? Or elephants? Elephants are even lesser in number than dogs, and more in danger of becoming extinct from poaching. This is something I hate about some animal activists (or slacktivists… like her) Don’t be so fucking selective people. ALL living animals should be saved, if you’re that into saving them.
Today proved to me just how I should have always taken that as a BIG hint not to “friend” her on Facebook. Because I posted a picture which I love…
It’s this one by the way (taken from http://www.corbisimages.com/images/Corbis-42-25656192.jpg?size=67&uid=783012cd-a57b-4d39-8a3a-0c0719a92298):
And she then came and commented on it. First she said like the picture looked “eerie”. I replied “yeah it’s kind of like a dark gothic-y look and I like it.” See that? I actually stated categorically that I… LIKE… IT. Period. When someone says they like something (and that thing is not offensive material) then it’s pretty rude to then try to put them down for liking it. No but she replied “Hmm. Ewwwwww.” Who the heck asked for her disgusted opinions anyway? And you know really, although it’s a matter of taste, yucking something that someone else likes is just not a nice thing to do. Alright? She is the “Relationships Manager” for a bank. Well, Relationships Manager my ass. With the things she says, she obviously knows nothing about manners… nor about relationships. I mean it’s not like what I liked was so yucky, right? It’s not fucking pus oozing from a wound, or a fucking picture of a guy beating up a woman? So fucking hell – I put her on Limited Profile.
She’s not the first. There’s this other ex-high school classmate of mine who is a religious nut and she kept making weird comments about witchcraft and stuff on some of the pictures or memes I posted on my FB. And I was like… one day I just thought – I’m done with you. And just put her on my Limited Profile list.
Now I feel much better. Like a stone has lifted off my chest.
Facebook. It’s more trouble than it’s worth sometimes.
If I wasn’t so fricking far away from some of the people I really love and miss, I would never be on it. Now thinking of these people… I kinda want to cry. I miss you all, my lifelong friends.