In life you either are number 1. Or number 2. “Number 2 is like kissing other people’s bum.”

So true.

Thanks for the wise words my friend.

I think my problem in life so far is I have never wanted to be either. Unfortunately life is full of people who operate either under number 1 or number 2. School is supposed to be the place where a child learns this. I don’t know why the lesson has eluded me for so long. I’ve always been a fighter and don’t take no shit from anyone. Yet I always shied away from leadership and limelight.

That’s why I have ended up getting sacked 3 times in life and find it hard to keep friends.

You either be friends with a “number 1” or a “number 2”. If you’re friends with a “Number 1”, you have to suck it up a lot of the time. Because most “leaders” have a lot of pride and don’t take to any challenges to their authority too well. Authority in this case could mean something as inconsequential as an opinion. If your “Number 1” type friend feels strongly about something so and so, and you hold an opposite opinion very strongly and you express it, be prepared for some major reactions from “Number 1”. And if you don’t suck it up and continue to argue your case, the whole convo can fall very foul indeed. And you will realise none of your friends who are also friends of the “Number 1” person will jump in to save the convo. And if they choose to take sides, they almost always will side with “Number 1”. That’s when you realise : All your usually nice friends (other than the “Number 1”) are actually “Number 2” people. The ass suckers. The cock suckers. The boot lockers.

You feel betrayed but what do you do?

I can win an argument every single time. But is it worth winning an argument against a “Number 1” person? When they have such power over your friends? And if they are your work boss they have even more power over you – they can make or break your career and they can basically influence the chances of you becoming homeless eventually or not, since losing a job = losing income = losing a roof over your head… for many people.

I have lost friends because they were too afraid to be seen hanging with me by their “Number 1” friend who may then reject their friendship. They are so afraid of what they’ll lose if “Number 1” ceases to be their friend. Sometimes they will lose the other friends they have (friends of “Number 1”), sometimes they will lose money, influence, etc. There is always something the “Number 1” has that the “Number 2” benefits from, that makes “Number 2”s so subservient to the “Number 1”s.

It’s sad but I have to cast away my ideals for a while. Suck it up to “Number 1”s for a while. Until I find a way to be that “Number 1” then I swear, I will be a good one. I will be the one who respectfully listens and am not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. And I will never bully people into submission.

That is if… I don’t turn into one of them horrible ones along the way. It’s a bit like getting bitten by a vampire. Once you’re down the path of evil, you find it almost impossible to stop. Must… try…not… to….